Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I am mentally ready for anal.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
