Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
