U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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