its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
