let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
