Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
