id be glad to
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
