I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
