He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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