Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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