hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
one might say we're banned from that church
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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