I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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