I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
