Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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