He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
