My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
now i know why i became what i already was.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
