Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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