Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
