my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She is in my trunk
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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