So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
