just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
