And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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