holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This is my gift to your gina
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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