one two three fourrrrnication!
You smell like stripper and shame
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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