Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
