so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
