Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize