Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize