No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize