I need help removing her.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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