I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
