Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
