false alarm. still invincible.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
