You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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