Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
