Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
