Apparently you make a good broom.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
