I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
