Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Oh god it's open bar.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
