Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize