Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
