I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I touched a dick in church today
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
