Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
