Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
