I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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