You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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