what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
