What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
