I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
