My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
