I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I need to sanitize my soul.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
