Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
