you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
