Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize