I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
