Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
