I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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